We've Gone and Done It Now

Soooo, this happened . . .

And this . . .

And, this.

 

 

I won't embarrass myself by telling you the actual number of pregnancy tests I took (I lost count anyway) but each time my expression probably resembled something like this.

 

 

Don't get me wrong, I was super excited. But at first, I was speechless. Especially since I've spent the majority of my adulthood hoping I'd never even have to buy a pregnancy test. There was a whole gamut of emotions coursing through me. "Holy crap, I'm pregnant! Holy crap, there's a life growing inside me. Holy crap, what about that wine I enjoyed over the weekend?!" But after the initial shock wore off, there were lots of tears of joy and excitement. And have been ever since.

 

I'm not really sure how this blog is going to take shape or if I'll even be able to keep it up. But I thought it might be nice to have some sort of outlet for all this crazy pregnant business. Especially since I only have a couple of friends in Los Angeles that have gone through it before. But I figured this blog could also be entertaining for those of you who actually want to hear all the nitty, gritty pregger details. And for those of you who could care less, just ignore.

 

And on that note, here's a rundown of the first trimester to get you up to speed.

 

*Nose. Apparently my sense of smell is now approaching levels of superhuman strength. And to put this bluntly, you people stink. Seriously. Your food, your deodorant, your perfume or cologne. You're all so smelly. In fact, this entire world stinks. Cigarette smoke, car exhaust, gasoline, candles. Enough already.

 

*Morning Sickness. Okay, I need to preface this by saying that I have gotten off pretty easy in the morning sickness department. In fact, I don't even call it that. Queasy is my term. I never went running to the porcelain gods or felt so nauseous I couldn't function. But every once in a while I would start to feel a little queasy. Like I was in the back seat of a car that was making its way through a long, windy road. It could be something I ate or something I smelled with my superhuman nose but whatever it was my stomach didn't like it. So whenever this happened I found that carbs usually helped.

 

* Appetite. Nothing sounded good anymore. If Nik suggested something like red meat I wanted to gag. And some of my daily indulgences were starting to turn me off. Sour cream and onion chips? Blech. Spearmint gum? Blech. Trader Joe's black bean and corn enchiladas? Double blech. Instead I gravitated toward carbs. Salt and pepper chips, mac 'n cheese, and Doritos were all big winners. Pasta also became a daily staple. And as far as cravings go, I think I had my first big one about two weeks ago. Nik and I were on our way to the grocery store and all of a sudden I got a craving for some Easy Cheese and crackers. Easy Cheese? I mean, come on. Apparently my baby wants me to eat like a stoned college kid.

 

I'm hoping this isn't a sign of things to come. : / But in case you're wondering, no, I didn't pick up any Easy Cheese. But I did stock up on cheddar cheese, baked Cheetos and a classy cheese spread to go with my cracked black pepper Triscuits. Don't worry, I still eat my fruits and vegetables. I just don't enjoy them as much.

 

*Baby bumpage. Despite my best efforts with the aforementioned carbs and cheese cravings,  the number on the scale hasn't changed much. But I have a theory on this. When not pregnant my cravings usually come in the liquid variety. Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, a bold, delicious Zin - you get my drift. But since I can no longer enjoy my vino the caloric intake balances out with my new found indulgences. You win some, you lose some. But the doc says the baby is developing right on track so I'm sure I'll be bumping it in no time.

 

*Attitude. I've been trying my best to keep mine in check and I think I did pretty good up until the 8 week mark. But then my patience began to wear thin and everyone began to annoy the shit out of me. But to be fair, I don't really know if I can blame it on the hormones. I work full time and also decided to produce and perform in a show that my lovely theatre company is putting on next week. So between work and rehearsals I've been clocking in 17 hour days which can be tiring. And I hear that whole growing a human business can be draining as well. All the while I had been hiding my pregnancy from almost everyone. So they probably all thought I was just being a real pain in the ass which let's face it, I probably was. But I've been getting better at taking deep breaths and counting to 10 to try and keep me from punching people in the face. And if that doesn't work I'll count to 100. And if that still doesn't work I just take a look at this nugget's beautiful, little mug and it all goes away.

 

 

Baby Karpen - Coming April, 2014!